Preparation: Day 2: Exercise Routine

By a strange coincidence (although not technically a coincidence since I blatantly knew about the promotion for weeks), my work is having 100 days of fitness through *********america.org. I did not sign up since I didn't have this vicious brainstorm until a few days ago. However, the promotion already has begun and I'm not allowed to join up (plus, it costs 15 bucks for some reason). Well, if they won't have me because they are "proper procedure" nazis, then I'll be my OWN "health and wellness" nazi! I don't need them, and their crappy "free" t-shirt for participation! I'll make my OWN t-shirts! And they'll be cooler! With blood and guitars and a Nintendo Wii controller on fire.

Also, in other news, I'm looking for "New Life Cafe" at 26 S Hanover St. If anyone can find this elusive address, please let me know. Recording studio/organic foods equals perfect for the TC on the move. More importantly, today is exercise day...


Exercise Routine

For me, exercise is pointless and boring if it has no objective and the movements are lame. This is why I have chosen a more sedentary lifestyle filled with writing, composition of music, and hardcore video game enthusiasm. There is nothing more fulfilling then finally finishing that last impossible song Rock Band, or rolling up all my cousins in Katamari Damacy or destroying every extremely tough boss in Astro Boy: Omega Factor or conquering the BloodMoon expansion in Morrowind as a werewolf, or more recently, winning a well-planned game of Puerto Rico by ONE victory point. Nothing at all. This is why exercise has always taken a backseat to personal entertainment. Why be Bruce Lee for real, when it's much easier and less painful to be him in a video game?

Well, this attitude of mine will have to change... somewhat. I still subscribe to the notion that exercise for exercises sake is just boring as hell. However, instead of belaboring that sentiment and crying as I painstakingly engage in all sorts of stupid exercises for 91 days, I will choose to enjoy myself as much as possible while exercising. If I HAVE to exercise, I might as well make it feel less like pounding nails into my knee caps and eye-sockets. How, you dumbly ask? I'll tell you.

I will be exercising in game form. The most likely candidates come in the form of Dance Dance Revolution and the drum set in Rock Band. I will spend one full hour dancing my heart out to colored arrows, improving my health and my coordination. I just so happen to rock at DDR, by the way. When Wii Fit comes out (in August?), I will immediately purchase it, and begin centering my mind and body. I will rock out at band practices, swinging my hips and guitar sensuously to the music, just as I will rock out in Rock Band on the drums. I will never turn down a game of racketball, basketball, hockey, fencing, or soccer (I will ALWAYS turn down baseball, boxing, and Apples to Apples, damn it!). And even though it is not a game, I enjoy bicycling, so you will probably see me peddling at high speeds in downtown Carlisle... winking knowingly at everyone. It will be awesome!

To leave my comfort zone and challenge myself, I will be searching for a good exercise video or two. Hopefully I can find something that has less dancing and more ass-kicking, and also something that will firm up my butt for those that happen to squeeze it later (I'm knowingly winking at everyone!). Until, I feel comfortable with the silliness I always feel while attempting these videos, I will lock myself in my room, turn out all the lights and hope no one notices the noises I'm making.

Then, there's the usual. I can't avoid it. I will be push-upping and sit-upping to higher and higher numbers; this way at least it "feels" like a high-score game as I attempt more and more each day. Two years ago I hit 52 push-ups in one rep, if I remember correctly, and this time I'm going to shoot for 70 in one rep. Sit-ups... I can pretty much do these until my abs burst, so I'll most likely be adding weight to my chest and focusing more on the burn of each crunch than any numbers.

Maybe, as time continues, or if someone else joins me at an appointed time, I will become a member of a gym and attempt some weight-lifting. The problem is that my left elbow, over the course of a normal thirty minute workout, starts to become excruciatingly painful. This is because in college I owned a pair of Heely sneakers with the wheel in the heels. As I was coming out of work (call center customer service), I ran across the parking lot and assumed the proper Heely balance "Shaggy" position with one foot out in front and one bent to the back, kind of like a still shot of Shaggy from Scooby Doo's walk cycle. I overcompensated for the speed, my legs came together and fell directly on my elbow. Long story short, my long-term girlfriend refused to have sex with me for 8 months, and I still have a piece of wire drilled through my elbow. This means that if I overdo it on one occasion, I am usually out of commission for the next few days and my elbow looks a tad bluer. Gym is optional, but exercise is a must. Plus, my mother has just purchased a Leg Magic exercise system, so I should be able to crack walnuts between my thighs after 91 days.

Most physical trainers help their clients target certain muscle groups on a rotational basis. Whether it means sectioning out the week into an upper and lower body muscle schedule, or focusing on cardiovascular work-outs between lifting sessions, variety is needed to help tone the entire human being. Full body work-outs, such as DDR and Tae-Bo will be helpful, but I will need to vary my habits. By keeping track of my progress in my diet blog and charts, there will be no doubt that I should be bicycling if I've been Sweatin to the Oldies three days in a row. I will definitely be focusing on cardio, as this will allow my heart rate to increase and induce glorious amounts of sweating, burning calories, burning fat cells, and oozing testosterone and all those enjoyable pheromones.

And, although I want shiny new abs for my birthday, the key is that I just STAY ACTIVE. The worst thing I can do is sit and play video games for 6 hours, then get up at 11 PM because I HAVE to, exercise for 45 minutes, do a few push-ups and then collapse in bed. Morning stretching and exercise promotes a healthy, sweat-driven day. There's a reason why you sweat all day at work, when you've had a work-out beforehand. You're muscles are still twitching with that kinetic energy, primed and pumped for more action. This also means that I will be commencing my exercise routine much earlier in the evening, so that I reap all of the benefits.

The most important piece of the Food Pyramid is proper exercise. Without that, I could start randomly passing kidney stones, die of heart failure, or worse... never be hot! That is a fate that this geek will not succumb to any time soon.

3 more days till teh hotness levels on TC start going up. Tomorrow, Strengthening of the Mind...


My preparations for today include: Sit-ups and Push-ups to warm up my stomach and chest with the initial pain of actually being used. I will also try Leg Magic in the living room.

Preparation: Day 1: Foods and Energy...

Alright, so I already know what is going to be the biggest factor in determining whether or not I can complete this 91 day period... sleep. Last night, I had this idea swimming in my head, so I kept going with it. I said to myself, "but I HAVE to finish it tonight, because I HAVE to get this on the internet and I HAVE to because I want..." Mainly, I pumped myself up for staying up late, and I fell asleep when I could barely breathe. This, in effect, caused me to fall asleep in the afternoon today. Which, in effect, caused me to not call Josh or Julie or especially Jenny, whose birthday was today. Being tired all the time is probably the worst form of depressionistic behavior, since it simply reinforces my cravings to lock myself alone in a room. Apologies to Josh, Julie, and especially Jenny (happy b-day!). What can I say, I crave the black emptiness of utter solitude.

Besides all that though, I have been researching. And today, I'd like focus on Energy and Healthy Food Choices in my diet...

Healthy Food Choices and Energy

Right now, I am drinking a Berry Lemonade flavored Jones Soda, which I purchased recently at WalMart. There is 190 calories in this 12 oz. aluminum can, and 99% of those calories are from pure cane sugar. This is approximately 20 more calories than Coca Cola, and approximately 190 more calories than water. Jones Soda would qualify as a bad choice for a consistently healthy lifestyle. And most of this shit is just as easy.

While I may not be able to simply read off the nutritional label on a piece of food all the time, it's a damn good thing to pay attention to some of the key elements on that beautiful monochrome sticker. I'm pretty good at reading. Some of the key things to look for are the overall calorie count at the top, the total grams of fat, the total grams of sugar (specifically in the form of just sugar), and maybe a light glance at the vitamin percentages at the bottom. However, one of the main things to disregard in the same respect, are the percentage daily values. Sure, it's some sort of basic guideline for the nutritional content based on a 2000 calorie daily diet, but these numbers are based off research that is almost 50 years out of date; back from sometime around when the Beatles wanted to hold your hand. Not especially reliable.

Much of the newer research into nutrition is leaking into popular culture, while the standard issue, government information continues to stagnate. It's good and tried and mostly true, but it's simplistic take on food groups allows for a normal person to justify much to much. "Pizza isn't THAT bad. It may have, in some cases, over 400 calories per slice, but it has white flour bread for grains, cheese for dairy, and tomato sauce for veggies." or... "I could eat fast food for lunch, and as long as I eat healthy for the rest of the day, it'll even out."



For the purposes of my diet, I will be following the updated Harvard Pyramid that is much more specific in their endorsement and shunning of foods. Now, a slice of white bread is akin to devil worship, whereas a hearty slice of whole-grain Roman Muesli bread (with cinnamon and one or two raisins) would be amazing. Whole grains will the base of every meal, which is good, since I love the shit out of sandwiches. All the nutritional advice I've seen, seems to point to the endosperm in whole grain foods, which release good carbohydrates which transfer into energy, which is something I will desperately need. The power of sperm. The pyramid also singles out foods that are good AND healthy, which is key for making correct decisions. Nutritionalists and Health instructors have been practicing and pushing for these changes for years. There is a precise difference between something that is good for you, and something that is good for you AND makes your kidneys shut down. There is good (vegetable) fat, and bad (red meat) fat.

My problem, however, has always been over-eating. I could take all this advice, but I'd still be bingeing on whole-grains, slamming vitamins, and growing fat with high-fiber, energy-rich, protein enhanced blubber. Especially if I know it's good for me. My equation has always been: Good for me + tastes good = eat it until you want to throw up. This is not a sound eating regimen.

Portion control is the name of the game. My target caloric intake during my diet, in an attempt to lose weight, will be somewhere just over 2000 calories. However, as an active white male between the ages of 19 and 30, I should potentially eat 3000 calories (plus, since I'm taller than average this number should be higher). So, I need to keep in mind serving sizes. Slice of bread = 1 Grain or 70 calories. 1/2 cup of Lima beans = 1 veggy. Only 3 oz. of Meat = 1 Meat. These are all pretty small for an American.

I'll be taking this very seriously. Per day, I will be consuming 6-7 oz. of poultry or fish. I will be eating two small handfuls of nuts. I will have a piece of fruit with breakfast and lunch, and occasionally as a snack. I will make sure to have a vegetable selection with every meal (with the exception of breakfast some days, since they taste disgusting in the morning). I will eat whole grain with each and every meal, especially loading up on breakfast. I will be eating a multi-vitamin and I will purchase a few good bottles of wine to include with dinner. And finally, when I go out to eat with friends, I will either order a salad or a dish with chicken/fish and rich with vegetables (possibly a wrap) and avoid the steak.

While I'll be desperately strict on myself, it's more about self-control and consistency then anything else. As long as I'm exercising and focusing on making awesome tasting meals, I'll have the energy to stay happy, which will in turn, make me less likely to want to binge on some craving. I blame Christmas for getting me hooked on chocolate again. Chocolate gives me phlegm, and makes my stomach rumble. I'd take chicken pot-pie over chocolate any day.

4 more days till teh hotness levels on TC start going up. Tomorrow, my Exercise Routine...


Foods and Energy Links:
FDA WebSite: http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/list.html
HelpGuide: Healthy Weight Loss: http://www.helpguide.org/life/healthy_weight_loss.htm
Harvard School of Public Health: http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/index.html
American Dietary Guidelines: http://www.health.gov/dietaryguidelines/dga2005/document/
Weight Maintenance Calorie Calculator: http://www.caloriecontrol.org/calcalcs.html
Jones Soda: http://www.jonessoda.com/

Preparations...

Ahh, humble beginnings...

This is the first post of the first day of the first things first. Preparations! Monday, the 28th of January is the big day. 91 Days and Beyond: The Battle to Lose Weight and Become Hot will begin.


To kick things off, I will be sharing my recently acquired expertise in the art form of weight-loss and nutritional studies. Since, I have five days of preparation before the big event, I will take these moments to get super pumped. Each day, including this one, for the next five days, I will be preparing both mentally and physically for the event.

Join me, and together we can lose weight... or die trying. Or possibly just give up. Will I give in to the pressure and return to my old "weighs" (haha!)? Or will I lose 26 pounds (that is 13 weeks of 2 lbs. of weight-loss) or more? Only time will tell.

Here is the schedule:

5 Day - Mini-Symposium

Day 1: Foods and Energy
Day 2: Exercise Routine
Day 3: Strengthening of the Mind
Day 4: Plotting/Planning
Day 5: Making it Last/ReProgramming

And it all leads up to January 28th, 2008...

The Point...

This is the first official notice. Preparations have already begun.
TC is going on a diet.

And this is not just a strict diet, but a strict diet with planned meals, calorie allowances and an exercise regimen that includes an "in your face" attempt at retuning my metabolism and tendencies toward laziness. I will be shrinking my stomach with specific portion sizes, eating three meals a day, resting for a full 8 hours (or more), brushing my teeth twice a day, exfoliating in the shower with a loofa sponge, bicycling in sub-zero weather conditions and playing video games that require movement.

I have been researching for the last few days (google and such...), and I feel that I am now a multi-facetted expert on the subject of nutrition. I will NOT be adhering to a pre-planned set of meals (WeightWatchers), nor will I be attempting experimental fad diets (Atkins, South Beach Diet) that are unproven and lack the longevity needed to promote a continuously healthy lifestyle. This weight cannot come back! I've been carrying around this extra 50 pounds for my entire life. It's like a duffel bag wrapped around my ass and waist for almost 26 long years.

My strategy, like I mentioned earlier, is supreme consistency and keeping accurate documentation of my struggle. I will not falter in my adherence to my daily plan. Whole grains, fruits, and vegetables will be my core. White breads, bleached rice and flour, red meat, candy, and empty calories from sugary sodas will be nixed immediately. Poultry, fish, and coffee will be my fuel. I'm still deciding on the multi-vitamin that is right for me.

Not only will being fit and healthy improve my quality of life and likely destroy my longstanding bouts with depression/social anxiety, but most importantly it will make me HOT. Hotness has a lot of benefits. These benefits include, walking around being hot, being hot in tight jeans, other hot people asking me rub lotion on their backs, fame, not having to ask for doggy-style sex, having a hot six-pack, and the illusion of having a bigger package do to the absence of fat around the pubic bone area. As you can see, it just seems ridiculous that I chose not to be hot up until this moment in my life.

So, what does this mean for you? Well, it means that you, dear friend, have the unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join with your pal, TC and build your own sense of self-worth. Join me for a 91 day trip to weight loss.

I will be documenting every step of the "weigh" (haha!), on my new and specific blog. I will be keeping track of everything from hours spent exercising to exact daily meal choices. You will be able to see how many push-ups I did in one day, how many sit-ups, how long I rode my bike, how long I played DDR, each weekly "weigh-in", graphs, charts, and much much more... I will be updating, hopefully, on a bi-daily schedule, and blogging my experience the entire time.

If you want to get involved, let me know and I will add your experiences and pictures and videos to the event. Whether you just want to tag along lightly and give periodic updates on your progress or even if you want to start your own exercise journal/blog (that I can link to and from), we can all work together to make ourselves a friendly group of hotties. I'll be posting info and tactics as I prepare to begin this journey. Check the blog for nutrition tips and links as this week continues. Right now, the official start date is next Monday, January the 28th. So, get ready.
Time to prepare!